Remain Friends after Breakup

Breaking up is a difficult thing to do, but even more difficult is remaining friends after the breakup. Usually the one initiating the break up feels guilty for inflicting pain on the other, regardless if they have been dating for a week, few months, or a few years. The one who is being dumped will feel a huge heartbreak and wonder what went wrong. When dating for such a long time, the significant other becomes someone really close you; like your best friend. You share many laughs together, things in common, and did many things together. Although break ups usually end on bad terms, here are a few tips on how to break up while still remaining friends.

Know where and how to break up. Try being gentle and lead up to it. Don’t just drop the bad news. Even though you are breaking up with him or her, it doesn’t mean you should treat them bad. Choose a nice and quiet place and not over the phone or computer. Remember, you want to keep them in your life so make it a nice and relaxing place.

Know why you are doing it. You should have a genuine reason why you are breaking up with him or her. Try to explain the reason precisely to them if you wish to hope to remain friends. On the other hand, if the reason is that you have fallen for their best friend or have been cheating on them, don’t expect a friendship to happen.

Make it clear that you despise yourself. Let them know that you hate yourself for hurting them and show them in your eyes how upset you are for ending the relationship. You need to let them know that you wish you didn’t have to do this but you were quite unhappy during the relationship and that there is no sense to go on pretending that you are happy.

Give a reason why friends can be a great option. Since a relationship didn’t work out, you need to come up with an alternative motive to suggest a friendship after the breakup. Let them know that although it might not work in a romantic sense, it can still work in a friendship since you both were attracted to each other initially. Tell them you want to have something good to come out of the relationship by creating a warm and successful friendship.

You must be willing to wait. It won’t be so common to just expect a smile and handshake after the breakup discussion. Be prepared that things probably won’t go as smoothly as you thought. Emotions will go all over the place as well as upsetting feelings and anger. Let them talk and listen to what they have to say. Give him or her time on their own to think about a friendship relationship when they can think consciously without emotions clouding their train of thought. Suggest even not contacting each other for a month and then explore friendship options. If it doesn’t work out, then you might just have to opt out of it.