Saturday, May 28, 2011

Moving on with Someone New


After being with someone for a prolonged time, getting back into circulation can be very challenging. You might face challenges such as how will you respond to a new partner, how will they respond to you, how will you know you are mutually right for each other, and where do you find a new partner.
In regards to places to find your new partner, that depends on your priorities in your life. If you are a religious person, try asking for advice at your local church, mosque, or synagogue. If health is a huge concern for you, join your local fitness and health club and check it out there. If you ever wanted to study something, like a language or any other adult education courses, you might find your new lover there. There are many places to go looking for your new partner, although a bar might not be the best place to start and might give you the least amount of success.
Internet dating is another way to meet someone special. You can narrow down your searches by age, interests, religion, education, and intentions on what they are looking for out of a relationship. However, the information that is posted is only as good as it is if the person is honest enough. Most of the dating profiles are honest, decent people, just read up on some internet dating site tips before trying it out.
Just because you are finding a new partner doesn’t mean that they are replacing your old one. You will not forget about your old partner and think less of them. You can fall in love with a new partner without losing the feelings you have of the past experiences. You are just finding someone new, not a replacement.

Friday, May 27, 2011

What do women want?





1.  Women want a man to be confident!  Confidence is the number one quality women look for.  Don't be wimpy.  Don't apologize for everything.  Be real. Be you.

2.  Women want a man who makes her feel like she's the only one. Women go nuts over a man who will go the extra mile.  For example, he opens the door for her, he walks on the right side of the street, he helps her shop.  I'm talking about being a GENTLEMAN!  If she is cold, offer her your jacket.  If she is in trouble, protect her.  If there is danger, put your arm around her.  Be a real man.

3.  Women want a man with a sense of humor.  A woman will almost always love a man who can make her laugh.  If you are dull, you are boring.  If you make a woman laugh, you're halfway home.  Take a chance, be real, but be funny. There are several seduction experts who claim that being "cocky" and "funny" are the two most important qualities to attracting a woman. I agree.

4.  Women want a man to listen to them (yes, even to the gripes and details of all the craziness) and not necessarily give advice.  Many women love to complain about their problems; however, they complain not to receive advice, but merely to sound off.  I know it's hard to nod and be supportive, because you want to watch ESPN or do something that to you may seem more exciting, but the fact is, your woman will go to the ends of the earth to love you when you truly listen to them and acknowledge their needs. You need to understand that women need to VENT.  Allow her this, and she'll allow you in.  Nod. Get involved and provide active listening feedback.  Be truly interested in what she is saying without worrying about what you're going to say next. Then, watch what happens as your woman opens up to you more.

5.  Women want men to treat them like they are the sexiest woman on the planet and that no other woman compares.  Talking about your ex-girlfriends is not going to score big points with your new woman.  Treating her like she's the ONLY one will make her smile for quite a while.

6.  Women want loyal men. Women want to know you will be faithful.  Don't tell a woman how you cheated on your ex.  It won't make her think you are wise, loyal, or trustworthy.  I'm not saying to lie to her -- just don't go there. Don't cheat on your woman.  She will not think you are a better man for doing this.  Just like you want think you are the only man she's ever loved, well, that's the thing she wants, too. The key to faithfulness comes from your own inner character. Be a man of character and you will reap a relationship built upon trust. You gain respect through consistent committed action. Respect backed up by love builds trust, trust builds a strong relationship that can stand the tests of life and time. 

7.  Be a true friend. LISTEN TO HER. Let her share her good times and problems with you.  Be there, rather than just promising to be there. Consistent committed positive action is a definition of love. How do you show you are a friend? Are you there when it matters most? Are you there for the small stuff, too?

8.  Women want to be loved, despite their flaws, and need to be satisfied mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as much as physically. Unconditional love would be ideal love.  How can you love a woman without judgment, conditions, or rules?  How would you like to be loved?  

Sexually speaking, women define great sex differently than men, using words like soft candlelight, light touch, then becoming more aggressive as their mood rises to the occasion.  A man, on the other hand, instantly rises to the occasion. Women want men to be their lover instead of obsessing over their body to just get sex. Rather than treat women as sex objects, treat them as someone to relate with; in other words, a real person! That means taking your time, showing extra attention, and being tender in ways with her to let her know she is special.

9.  Women appreciate a man who is creative.  Roses are nice.  But sometimes it is extra special to think of something that most guys wouldn't do for a woman.  It could be something frivolous, but if it is something that you think SHE would like, then why not do it?  You might have just made her day.

10.  Women want men who offer a sense of security, to know that her partner will be there if she becomes sick or when she grows old or flabby.  Giving a woman security is being there through emotional and physical support.  An example might be if she has to have surgery.  Take the day off and be there for her, hold her hand, and give your full support to her. In other words, postpone that "tee time"! Security comes from trust. Again, this is about being able to rely in your strength of character.  

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Types of Sexual Addiction




Unlike alcoholism, there are many different forms of sexual addiction.
A fetish addiction is a more detached escape from reality because the focus of the addiction is on an object, not a person. The fetish enables the sexually addicted person to experience sexual pleasure without even the fantasy of human contact. In some instances the object is used to stimulate a fantasy of human contact. However, any sexual compulsion towards objects intensifies intimacy problems that can lead to divorce or a life of emotional isolation. If no other person is involved, it is in the category of addictive sex alone.
Voyeurism (the Peeping Tom syndrome) also removes the sex addict from emotional vulnerability. Through this form of sexual addiction, the voyeur seeks sexual pleasure without the risk of intimacy or even revealing himself. And he doesn't respect the privacy of the people he spies on. Since the voyeur relies on using another person for sexual stimulation, his addiction falls into the category of addictive sex with another person.
Phone sex is another form of addictive sex with someone else. Although there is no physical contact between the participants and they don't even see each other, the sexually addicted person is using the other person for sexual stimulation he could not experience alone.
Sadomasochism goes beyond avoiding intimacy. It is based on gaining sexual pleasure through destructive and humiliating sex acts. It is certainly a form of sexually addictive behavior with someone else.
Necrophilia is the morbid fantasy of fantasies. With help, the necrophiliac can face reality and gain control over their addictive sex life. Unfortunately, most necrophiliacs won't even acknowledge that they're morbidly addicted.
Nymphomania is a form of promiscuity. It enables the sex addict to escape the demands of a real relationship and gain a short-term sexual pleasure that leads to a life of continual loneliness. The need for loving intimacy and genuine emotional involvement cannot be replaced through promiscuity.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Cheating Girlfriend Signs


1. Don’t wait. If you have a feeling that your partner is cheating on you, it’s better to find out now than later. If you continue having this thought in your head, it will lead to endless worrying and insecurity which will destroy the relationship.
2. Observe. What led you to have the feeling that she might be cheating on you. Is it her new friend that she is spending a lot of time with and sharing less time with you? Has she met some new single friends she is hanging out with often?
3. Potential signs. Watch out for things such as secret phone conversation (i.e. she leaves the room every time she gets a phone call), or maybe she worries more about her appearance when she is going out without you. If your partner is fighting or arguing with you more often, this could be taken as an exit strategy to get out of the house. Another sign is lying. If you catch your partner in a lie, no matter how small it is, try to connect the lies together. Nowadays, you don’t have to go out to find someone, if your partner is excessively on the computer more than usual, she or he might in adult chat rooms or sending emails with their new “friend”. If your friends also seem a bit uneasy around you, they might know something you don’t and are afraid to tell you, and another big sign is that your partner might be accusing you of cheating.
4. Overly defensive. If you bring up a topic and her guilt takes the worse of her and she becomes defensive and accuses you of cheating, then this could lead into a stalemate and cause havoc in the relationship.
5. Say that you love her. Does she tell you she loves you back? When you hold her hand, does she try to pull it away or look nervous? These might be signs that she is thinking about cheating or feeling very guilty about cheating.
6. Crave for a fantasy. If your partner is searching on the Internet or at pornographic websites for anal, bondage, or sex with the same gender, then try to make it seem like your fantasy as well. If she can have these fantasies at home, she won’t be looking outside the house for them.
7. Look at the source, not the act. Instead of focusing on the fact that she is cheating or thinking about cheating, look at the reasons that might cause her to have these feelings and repair them.
8. Ask her friends. You are often the last to know if you are being cheated on or not, but observe her friends’ behavior. They might not rat their friend out, but they might be sympathetic with you and you can probably observe this change of behavior.
9. Ask about a specific guy. Try asking her about her opinions on some guy and if she hesitates or becomes defensive, then you might want to look into the relationship she has with that guy.
10. Look at her history. “Once a cheater, always a cheater”. If she has snuck around in her past then be weary on her actions and behavior with you.
11. Follow your instincts. After you have taking all of the evidence in and researched, in the end, follow your gut. If she has a wandering eye, she is probably thinking she can do better, and so can you.
12. Discuss it with her. If you found out she is cheating, talk to her about it. If she regrets it and she did it out of pure ignorance, you should try forgiving her. If she doesn’t care at all about what she did nor have any regrets, then it probably is best for you to move on and find someone who truly appreciates you.

Top Reasons Why Men Cheat


Women seem to be “better” at cheating than men. Women keep their affairs under wraps and have an agenda and plan on what they want. Sometimes they might have an affair simply to just leave their partner, especially when married. However, unless the wife finds out their husband is cheating on them; chances are that you won’t find a man leaving their wife for their mistress. But why do men decide to cheat or have other affairs?
There are quite a few reasons that could contribute to why men get involved with other women. Mainly, the sexual attraction, companionship, and curiosity pull men closer to those that they will have an affair with. TV shoes, advertisements, movies, and novels also contribute to the excitement of the lust for more women. While women tend to cheat on their boyfriends, fiancés, or husbands for reasons such as intimacy, sex, and money, men have a few different reasons.
Most of the time men wind up cheating to have more sex. They might lack enough sex in their current relationship, so they might want to experience sex with someone else or even a sexual variety through different partners. They might also want to boost their ego and feel great that they can still attract the opposite sex. The man might also have an addiction to sex.
Some men find it thrilling and exciting to chase after a forbidden affair. Another reason would be just being offered sex. This is a bit difficult to pass an offer or invitation to have sex with someone from the opposite sex and can lead to a man cheating on their partner.
Sabotage and revenge also are common reasons why men might want to find other affairs. Perhaps they are unhappy and unsatisfied with their current relationship so they wind up destroying it on purpose by doing the unforgiveable act of cheating. It can also be a reason of anger and revenge to get back at the partner for really anything. Sometimes the man will just want to escape from everything and cheating on their partner might feel like the best way to do it.
In the end, having a secret affair will involve a lot of lies, cover ups, and explaining which is not fair to your partner and even disrespectful to yourself. You might become full of guilt and take it out by lashing out at your partner. Either way, if you are involved in an affair, you need to respect yourself and above all, your partner, enough to get out and move on.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Men: What to Do After Being Dumped


So, the unthinkable has happened – your woman has either broken up with you or asked for a divorce. Something like this can leave you frustrated and feel helpless and you might not even fully understand why she is ending the relationship. What should your next move be? Is there a chance to change her mind or is it just a lost cause? When you feel there is nothing you can do except be miserable, try out one of these five things that you can and probably should do after your woman breaks up with you.
1. Take care of yourself
It can become a real shocker having the woman you care about and spending her life with you to just abruptly end it all. After a shocking event such as a break up or a divorce, one can find themselves helpless and not caring about themselves at all. The key is to continue doing those basic things like eating right, getting enough sleep, and surrounding yourself with positive people who will support you in this time of need. If you lose sleep or escape using alcohol or drugs, you will never be able to make effective decisions. The most important thing is to make your well-being your number one priority.
2. Understand what you did to cause a break up
You might be confused about what happened and what led to a break up. Of course, you can fully understand what prompted her to break up and might have made a big mistake, but you still should take some time to try figuring out your part of the break up. There is probably more to the story than infidelity for example if one of you lied or cheated. Instead of blaming yourself, though, try to take responsibility and learn from what happened so if you decide to get back together with her, you are less likely to make the same mistakes.
3. Is getting back together the best idea?
Be honest with yourself and ask yourself whether getting back together is a good idea. You might feel desperate to just get back together with her again but is that really in your best interests? It might not be so easy to ask yourself these questions, but try to look at your relationship as an observer and see if your healthy and unhealthy habits fit with hers in the relationship.
4. Communicate with your ex
Not only should you be honest with yourself, but also be honest with your ex (if you are still communicating). Tell her what you have learned or discovered from being honest with yourself. Ask her questions as well to seek out clarification. If you decided that getting back together is the best idea, then tell her things that you are willing to change in order to give it a second chance. After you have communicated with her, take a step back and try not to convince her to get back together with you. Pressuring her will just push her away. It’s up to her now to decide what she will do.
5. Let go
After you have communicated with your ex and have discussed whether or not to give the relationship a second chance, she might not want to come back to you. As painful as it sounds, you must know when to let go. It won’t help if you keep bothering her and asking her over and over again to get back together with you. This will just set you back. If she has made it clear that she does not want to get back together with you, repeat the first step and surround yourself again with positive people who will be there to support you. As hard as it is, time will heal your wounds and you will feel a lot better and be able to move on in the future.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Why Some Men Can’t Commit


Are you going out with a man who is afraid of commitment? Have you been dumped in the past by someone who just can’t commit to a relationship? Check out the following tips to help you better understand why some men might have a fear of commitment.
1. Issues with trust
Some men might have been hurt a lot by women in the past or maybe saw one of his friends become hurt after being close to a woman. These men might have a hard time trusting women and fear that after getting too close to her and putting a lot of time and effort that she will leave or cheat on him. These kinds of men really don’t want to take that risk.
2. Just having fun
If you are dating a man in his 20’s, chances are he is just interested in having fun and probably trying to build his own life and career before thinking about a serious committed relationship. Even a man in his 30’s might not be ready to commit due to serious relationship problems. A man might be overwhelmed by the lack of freedom in a serious relationship and will need time for himself.
3. You are being too demanding
When a man is ready to commit to a relationship, they might be overwhelmed by the girl’s high expectations and demands. A man won’t be interested in a committed relationship if the girl always wants to spend time with him and gets angry or upset when he wants to spend time with his friends.
4. He is just not interested in you
Often at times the woman might overlook the obvious fact why the man cannot commit and that is because maybe he just doesn’t feel the same way as you do. He might feel pressured by his friends because they are all in a relationship and he doesn’t want me to be left alone, so he might be looking for someone he can really be with and have an interest in. So if you don’t receive many calls from him or if he is avoiding trying to get into a committed relationship with you, the reason might be because he isn’t interested in being a relationship with you instead of his lack of ability to commit.
5. Already comitted to his parents
The person you are dating has already committed to his parents that he will do an arrange marriage and there might be many reasons behind it. May be know that his parents won't agree for a love marriage and does not want to take a change and hence cannot give any commitment even if he really loves that person. Women usually takes this as an excuse, however just to inform this is a fact.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Remain Friends after Breakup


Breaking up is a difficult thing to do, but even more difficult is remaining friends after the breakup. Usually the one initiating the break up feels guilty for inflicting pain on the other, regardless if they have been dating for a week, few months, or a few years. The one who is being dumped will feel a huge heartbreak and wonder what went wrong. When dating for such a long time, the significant other becomes someone really close you; like your best friend. You share many laughs together, things in common, and did many things together. Although break ups usually end on bad terms, here are a few tips on how to break up while still remaining friends.
Know where and how to break up. Try being gentle and lead up to it. Don’t just drop the bad news. Even though you are breaking up with him or her, it doesn’t mean you should treat them bad. Choose a nice and quiet place and not over the phone or computer. Remember, you want to keep them in your life so make it a nice and relaxing place.
Know why you are doing it. You should have a genuine reason why you are breaking up with him or her. Try to explain the reason precisely to them if you wish to hope to remain friends. On the other hand, if the reason is that you have fallen for their best friend or have been cheating on them, don’t expect a friendship to happen.
Make it clear that you despise yourself. Let them know that you hate yourself for hurting them and show them in your eyes how upset you are for ending the relationship. You need to let them know that you wish you didn’t have to do this but you were quite unhappy during the relationship and that there is no sense to go on pretending that you are happy.
Give a reason why friends can be a great option. Since a relationship didn’t work out, you need to come up with an alternative motive to suggest a friendship after the breakup. Let them know that although it might not work in a romantic sense, it can still work in a friendship since you both were attracted to each other initially. Tell them you want to have something good to come out of the relationship by creating a warm and successful friendship.
You must be willing to wait. It won’t be so common to just expect a smile and handshake after the breakup discussion. Be prepared that things probably won’t go as smoothly as you thought. Emotions will go all over the place as well as upsetting feelings and anger. Let them talk and listen to what they have to say. Give him or her time on their own to think about a friendship relationship when they can think consciously without emotions clouding their train of thought. Suggest even not contacting each other for a month and then explore friendship options. If it doesn’t work out, then you might just have to opt out of it.

Men are from Mars – Women are from Venus


Men and women are both very different in terms of mentality and thinking.
1. Men are from Mars – Women are from Venus
Men and women are very different in behavior and mentality. If we help ourselves to better understand these differences, then our relationships can greatly improve. We mistakenly assume that our partners will behave differently to express their love than we would behave.
2. Women and Men value totally different things
Men often complain that women always try to improve and shape them and women complain that men never listen. The important thing to realize is that men value power and personal achievement while women value feelings and qualities in a relationship.
3. Men retreat, women charge with talk
While many women talk and talk, men relax their stress by retreating to caves and become more focused with their issues. Women are emotionally overwhelmed and want to always talk about their problems. Women that share problems, however, represent a sign of trust.
4. How to motivate the opposite sex
To motivate the opposite sex, it involves deep understanding. Men need to feel trusted and appreciated while women must feel loved and cherished.
5. Different languages
Language usage is different between men and women. They might use the same words, but they could have totally different metaphorical meanings and so on. Men tend to interpret women more literal than they should be interpreted.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

What Women Think About Men


The relationship between women and men has always been up and down. Many psychologists have conducted studies to find out what women dislike most in a man and what kind of man they find most attractive. Though it is a much debated topic, women tend to never like a man who shows signs of weakness or even too much interest initially in her. Women do not like men who are arrogant, lie a lot, or show submissive behavior. Men often think that by doing anything the woman asks for immediately that they will simply fall at their feet, but it’s actually quite the opposite. Women find men who show submissive behavior as a sign of weakness.
However, women do enjoy a man who can be sensitive and be open about their feelings. A man can win over a woman by having a big heart and ready to share and care. They also want a man who can be themselves and their own person. Many women want a man who can be decisive and able to express what exactly they want in a relationship. That being said, women also do not like it when a man is self centered.
Despite a woman wanting a strong man who will not be submissive all the time, they also want a man where they can have just a little control over and wield in some power. Though it is known too that men love to be in the company of women, women find it irritating to be constantly surrounded by their man all the time, no matter how much they love their partner. For example, a boyfriend calling his girlfriend up every 15 minutes while she is in the middle of running errands, studying, or driving on a busy road can come off as extremely annoying.
When on a first date, women find a man who just keeps talking about the amount of money they have and brags about their new Ferrari a big turn off. Women don’t want to hear about all of these things on a first date. Bragging and continuing to talk about their salaries and wealth can come off not only as annoying and irritating, but also rude.
Love blossoms slowly when you give a woman the time and space that she needs. Although there are many more attributes that men often do that could turn off a woman, the bottom line is to just be yourself and keep these tips in mind when on the first few dates with a woman.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Things Men Hate About Women


Polls and studies show that although men heartily love women, there are quite a few things that they just can’t stand about them. One of them is that they can’t stand when women are pretending they are chaste. Women who always give every attempt to seem better turn off men a lot. Men also hate it when women criticize other women. Women tend to treat other women as rivals and constantly criticize other women’s taste in fashion, clothes, shoes, and other material things. That being said, men hate it when women are always jealous. Jealousy lifestyle can break the strongest relationships and cause couples not to trust each other.
When women demand hugs and caresses, this angers men as well. Men do not like a diffident woman, which is sometimes even worse than an independent woman. Constant demands for emotional support irritate men. Questions like “what are you thinking about” also tend to annoy men. Women use these questions to try to catch their man’s unawareness and learn what their real feelings are.
Women also tend to want all of the man’s spare time. Women who demand to have all of the man’s spare time interfere with his private life. Women’s emotions for things such as a broken nail or touching films also anger men a bit. Men can’t understand why get all upset over things that seem very small to them. Never ending shopping and the craving to go on a shopping spree anger men a lot. When men are dragged into a store for hours while she has to try on every bit of clothing she sees, men find this the most terrible ordeal.
A common trait that many women have which anger men is the excessive amount of talking. Women’s stories contain every bit of detail and a story can run on and run and wind up irritating a man. The final thing that can also irritate a man is the woman to pursue gender superiority over the man. Being involved in a gender war such as trying to deprive their man of sex in order to punish them can really tick the man off and even cause consequences for the woman.
The above mentioned comments and some traits that anger men are from studies and polls and can give us a better look at the bad habits that many women do that might scare off a man. Nobody is perfect though and partners should demonstrate patience and learn how to compromise.

Monday, May 9, 2011

5 TYPES OF WOMEN YOU SHOULD AVOID


The Control Freak

This type of woman attempts to control every aspect of your life. It might start with picking out a shirt for you to ordering your dinner and telling you what to do and eat as well as what friends you can see and when you can see them. Sooner or later you will find misery in your life being involved with a control freak. Worst of all, if you speak up and express your discomfort or refuse her demands, she will deny sex as a punishment.

Stalker

This type of woman is pretty self explanatory. She shows up unannounced to your work and says she was just in your neighborhood. She checks your phone messages, text messages, emails, computer files, may even hide in your bushes at night. This type of girl will lead a relationship with her waiting on the porch for you to come home every night.

Desperate

When talking to a desperate girl, you can hear her constantly complain how she is the last one of her friends or family to get married and how she thought she would have been married 15 years ago. She thinks of you as her last hope. Although it is difficult to avoid a desperate girl, you shouldn’t let someone pressure you in or make you feel bad to get married to her. You should get to know the person first before she traps you at the alter and you are stuck in a miserable marriage.

Insecure

You will spot an insecure girl rather later after a few dates. She will seem nice and more attractive than usual. Once you start dating, you will get calls from her every hour or so regarding your whereabouts. She isn’t calling to hear your voice, she wants to know your exact position, who you are with, what you are doing, and constantly in need of hearing that she is attractive.

Rushed Wedding

Much like the desperate types, those who see themselves as a bride already want to immediately find their own personal Prince Charming. She will tell you she loves you by the end of the first date and the second date will consist of visiting her parents, find out how many kids you will have, and looking at houses already. She has already picked out her wedding dress and has her dream wedding in mind. These kinds of women don’t know the reality of the situation and it is best to avoid otherwise she will be nagging you every day of your life.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Should You Forgive Cheating?

Cheating isn’t just defined as having sex with another person, but it could also be flirting in an internet chat room, going to a strip club, or any other kinds of unacceptable behavior. Some couples even allow their partner to explore their sexual boundaries in an open relationship and make some rules like “no second times” or “no kissing”. Either way, it is important for you and your partner to discuss what is acceptable and what is not acceptable behavior. But now what happens when a partner breaks the rules?

There are different types of affairs that a partner could be having. One is just a simple one time only drunk night in Vegas sex without any romance or just a bachelor party that went too far. Another is when there is romance and intimacy but not sex involve, which could consist of internet chat room affairs or work place flirting and sharing thoughts. The last affair is just an all out other relationship with everything, including sex and romance. Can you forgive a partner that is involved in any of these types of affairs and has broken your rules?

Believe it or not, but the easiest type to forgive is just the one night sex. It was meaningless, it was stupid, and chances are your partner fully regrets it and will learn from that lesson. Even though this is not being encouraged, a simple one night stand means absolutely nothing to the guy. However, the other types of affairs are a bit more difficult to forgive since there is really no way of knowing about it and to think that your partner didn’t think it would hurt you or break you heart is just ridiculous.

So should you forgive? Probably not. The question you should ask is why should you forgive him or her? For the sake of the children? Then you are placing guilt on the children and teaching them infidelity is okay. A person who is lying to your face all the time should not be worthy of your love.

The best thing to do is to spend time for yourself and think things out. Think if the relationship is worth saving and will last. Will you truly be able to be with this person the rest of your life without thinking about the affair they had? Think about the reasons they could have cheated. Either way, you don’t deserve to be treated like a doormat and you should really think twice before forgiving someone who cheated on you